introducing kat cleveland’s woooot beer

Kat Cleveland's woooot beer

Remember my friend, Kat? Well, if you don’t, you should because she’s cereal box famous.

I can’t even believe that I never thought to mix alcohol with root beer before. Maybe I was thinking that alcohol would ruin it because let’s be honest, root beer is pretty amazing on its own. Kat’s drink recipe that I’m about to share with you is pretty life changing.

The best thing about this drink is that it has multiple variations and they are all equally awesome.

Trader Vic's Macademia Nut Liqueur

Trader Vic’s Macademia Nut Liqueur is pretty good, but I imagine you could use Frangelico instead. Except I haven’t tried using that yet.

Woooot Beer variation number 1

Lots of ice (The ice is very important.)
1 part spiced rum
1 part macadamia nut liqueur (Kat uses Trader Vick’s Macadamia Nut Liqueur)
2 parts diet root beer

Woooot Beer variation number 2

Woooot Beer variation number 1 + whipped cream

Woooot Beer variation number 3

Woooot Beer variation number 1 + ice cream + whipped cream

*Note: The ice is still important if you add ice cream. Matt tried to make us one without ice and it didn’t taste as amazing as it should have.

I might even like this drink better than wine.

Don’t forget to enter the Rodan+Fields giveaway!

rodan+fields giveaway!

As promised I have a giveaway for all of you awesome people that read this blog! An old friend from high school, Lisa, contacted me through Facebook asking for my address so she could send me free skincare samples from the company that she works with called Rodan+Fields. Like most people, I love getting surprises in the mail so I messaged her back my address right away.

Lisa sent me samples for a mini facial. This was a real treat for me because I only allow myself to get a facial from an actual spa once a year. I loved the results! Here is was Lisa sent me:

ENHANCEMENTS Micro-Dermabrasion Paste: This is a great exfoliator. I really felt like my skin was clean after using this. Is it weird that this product reminded me of really sugary icing and I had to resist from eating it? Ugh, Matt is right; I do act like a child. At least I did actually resist from eating it, but only because I imagine it doesn’t taste good since it’s for your face and not eating.

REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum: This is by far my favorite product! It left my skin feeling so silky soft. My face has never felt like that after a facial at a spa. Plus, it came in a cool blue capsule. Lisa, told me that this is because the product retains its potency in the capsule and the capsule provides the optimal amount of serum to maximize results.

REDEFINE Lip Renewing Serum: Ehh, I’m not very good at following directions sometimes. It clearly said to put this stuff on your lips, but I was quick to smear it all over my mouth including the area around it. I wasn’t expecting it to be the consistency of lip gloss. I had to wipe it all off and then I had none left to use the right way! I suppose I got way too excited.

After trying all the products, I was able to chat with Lisa over the phone and she explained to me that she is an Independent Consultant for Rodan+Fields. (She also explained to me how to correctly use the REDEFINE Lip Renewing Serum.) She told me that she randomly chooses two of her Facebook friends every month to send free skincare samples to as a way to promote Rodan+Fields products. I asked her if she ever thought of promoting the products through a giveaway on a blog. Lisa agreed to partner up with me and offer one lucky reader of this blog a whole week supply of the REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum (my favorite product)!

REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum

Each REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum capsule contains a potent, proprietary blend of peptides and retinol to visibly improve skin texture and firmness and reduce the appearance of wrinkles.

Lisa, will also reimburse the enrollment fee for any reader of this blog that wants to sign up to be a Preferred Customer. She will send an Amex gift card to any new customer from this blog. The fee is (a one-time cost of) $19.95 and Preferred Customers receive a 10% discount on products from Rodan+Fields, and free shipping on their first and all future Preferred Customer orders!

Lisa was also very excited to introduce me to Rodan+Fields newly launched AMP MD System. It is temporarily unavailable to the public, but it will roll out soon. It will be available to Preferred Customers before the general public, which is why Lisa is offering the enrollment fee reimbursement.

AMP MD System

The AMP MD System is a non-invasive, skincare roller clinically proven to safely and effectively exfoliate the uppermost layer of the skin. The system works with the REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum.

More good news: Lisa is looking to build her team at Rodan+Fields! Lisa explains:

For all of you out there that would enjoy earning free trips, cash bonuses and residual income (where you work the same hours every month, but your checks keep growing from the past work you’ve put it!), this could be the opportunity for you! Rodan & Fields is a Network Marketing company from the doctors who created Proactiv Solutions. This brand is their answer to the three billion dollar anti-aging skincare market. Imagine if you had partnered with these docs when they launched Proactiv? Imagine where you’d be now! R&F is on track to see the same success … why not you? And why not now?! I’m looking for smart, motivated, coachable people, who enjoy helping others reach their goals, to join my fast-growing team. And don’t worry—R&F’s award-winning business system, training programs, and my coaching gets new Consultants off to a fast start. No skincare or sales experience necessary! For more info visit:, or contact me:

To win a FREE whole week supply of the REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum, enter through Rafflecopter below!

*Note: Unfortunately, this giveaway is only open to United States residents. Rodan+Fields can only ship to the United States, but the company has plans to expand to Canada in the future. If you are the winner, Lisa will contact you through email to find out your shipping information.

Click here to enter through Rafflecopter.

I was not paid to advertise Rodan+Fields or to host this giveaway. I did receive Rodan+Field samples from Lisa for a mini facial.

would moving to paradise really make you happier?

beachSigh. It’s Sunday. Two margaritas deep, but now onto water because it’s Sunday and I have to go to work tomorrow. Why shouldn’t Matt and I move to the Caribbean again?

That reminds me. I need to read a book called Don’t Stop The Carnival. A couple that took Matt, Matt’s parents, and myself on a sailing excursion in the Caribbean recommended it. I suppose that couple is one reason why I don’t think I’ll ever pick up and move to the Caribbean. They seemed so sad even though paradise surrounds them. They seemed to be going through the motions of life, but not really living it anymore.

Let’s be honest, Matt and I aren’t the most traveled people in the world. We do love vacation and we try to do our best to make it happen a few times a year, but we haven’t been to that many Caribbean islands. We tried talking to the sad sailing couple about the surrounding islands that we had actually been to or read about. They hadn’t been to any of them. It seemed crazy to us that they lived on a sailboat, but had barely been to any of the islands that they sail past every day. They said there are docking fees that they couldn’t afford, and gas is too expensive, or something along those lines.

Health insurance also seemed to be a big problem for them. They are in their early 60s. Chartering their sailboat/houseboat for 20 plus years exposed them to the sun a lot. Both were struggling with early stages of skin cancer.

They were just getting by, barely. People in their 60s are normally thinking about retiring, but they aren’t anywhere close to that. You would think chartering a sailboat would be something awesome to do after you decide to retire, but this had become their job. It was no longer their hobby or something they were excited to do every day.

I guess when you start doing your hobby for a living it takes the fun out of it eventually.

So I have to wonder if moving the Caribbean would actually make me enjoy my life more. It’s not like I could pick up and move there and work in the restaurant business. I already know that would be a disaster. Actually, I could think of plenty of things Matt and I could do to work for ourselves down there, but would we really be happier? It’s not like we could bring our family and friends along with us.

Sigh. Working for the weekend sure gets old sometimes.

I asked Matt what I could do to make this post less depressing and he said there was nothing I could do to change that except to rewrite the whole thing and write about something else. I suppose at least I’m reaffirming why I am where I am and why I haven’t moved to some crazy far away paradise island. The sad sailing couple reminds me that location isn’t necessarily going to make me happier. Somehow they shoved reality down my throat on that vacation, which kind of sucked. But, I suppose I needed it. And, I often think of them when I get pissy about having to wake up in the morning to go to work.


link up with not entirely perfect: goals

I’m linking up with Stephanie from Not Entirely Perfect. She’s pretty much the opposite of me. She’s super organized and has a list of 101 goals that she wants to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. I wouldn’t say I’m the most goal-oriented person, but I feel like I used to be. I remember creating tons of lists with goals for myself all the time. I don’t seem to do that anymore. I blame Matt (my husband). Although, I don’t think that’s really a bad thing. Matt teaches me all the time how to live in the moment and just relax in general. I’m participating in her goal link up anyway because:

  1. I haven’t posted all week.
  2. I feel like making some short term goals for this weekend and next week.

Alright, so here are my goals:

  1. Post three times next week. Perhaps I can start making this a weekly goal if all goes well. I actually have a few posts already written for next week. I think that’s been my problem with posting lately. If I’m not ahead, I just can’t get started. So that’s why I basically took this week off from posting. If I have a few posts written out ahead of time, I think I’ll have an easier time with writing in general. I won’t feel too much pressure and I’ll be able to get started.
  2. Relax as much as possible this weekend. I had minor surgery on Thursday. (Thursday was Halloween. Matt is mad at me for ruining Halloween for a third year in a row.) The surgery was to finally remove that gross cyst I posted about a few weeks ago. I’m not even going to link to that post here because that post may or may not have been considered so gross that it was offensive. An affiliate actually dropped me in less than 24 hours after that post. Haha. Soo yeah, I’m no longer participating in affiliate programs except for Amazon. I don’t think Amazon is very judgey and sometimes it’s easier to link to things that I’m talking about rather than explaining them. Anyway, using affiliate links was entertaining to me at first, but I no longer feel like coming up with creative ways to use them.
  3. Catch up with a friend for dinner next week. Making time for friends is always important. It makes getting through the work week way easier.
  4. Go to my kickball game. Organized social sports also makes getting through the work week way easier.
  5. Book our hotel and flight to Vieques. My trip with Matt is a month away and we haven’t booked everything for it yet. We booked all the free stuff, but not the stuff we have to pay for yet. We were able to book our flight to Puerto Rico and one night stay in a hotel with points from our credit cards. We still need to book a small flight to the island of Vieques and a place to stay there.
  6. Exchange a pair of work pants I bought from Express. Ugh, I had to break down and buy some new work pants. The pair I bought online is too long. The one pair of pants that were actually fitting me got a huge hole in the butt. I just know I was wearing them with the hole for at least a couple of days. At least I typically wear super long shirts so I imagine the hole was covered the whole time, but seriously, what the hell. I have no idea how that hole got there. I suppose my ass just got fatter.

Aaand on that note, I suppose I could make one long term goal:

EAT LESS JUNK FOOD, but let’s be honest I have a huge sweet tooth and candy, cookies, and ice cream are more important to me than being skinny. Ugh, I suppose I will attempt to cut back at least until our trip to Puerto Rico/Vieques. The only time I really get annoyed with how much sugary foods I eat is when I have to wear a bathing suit or fit into a dress for something. Oh yeah, and when there is a HOLE IN THE BACK OF MY PANTS.

"Cookies are way more important than being skinny." Showing a comic of me holding a stack of cookies.

I created this using Bitstrips.

first anniversary

Card that says "For a special grandson and his beautiful wife"

This is a card from Matt’s grandmother. You know what is awesome about getting married to Matt? I now have four awesome grandmothers. Notice that “beautiful” in the phrase “beautiful wife” is underlined THREE times.

Geez, it’s hard getting back into posting regularly after I haven’t in such a long time. Anyway, this past weekend was my first wedding anniversary with Matt. It is crazy it has been a year already. People always say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m sure that’s true for a lot of people, but when you’ve already been living together and dating on and off for seven years it’s really not. I’d say the first year of marriage was the easiest year so far in our relationship.

Matt had no injuries and I have officially been free of all sickness for a whole year. (Last time I had a cold was on our wedding weekend.) Probably the biggest challenge of our first year of marriage was combining finances, but it really wasn’t that bad. I already knew going into our marriage I needed to change my spending habits big time. Obviously, I gave my online shopping habit a proper goodbye right before our wedding. Meaning Zappos and Nordstrom were probably pretty pleased with me and now they might be wondering if I died.

Matt and I properly celebrated our first anniversary by going to an Oktoberfest celebration at the Raven’s stadium (M&T Bank Stadium) in Baltimore. We went with some good friends and met up with my sister, her boyfriend, and more friends. It was an awesome time and I even managed to drink beer almost the whole day. I of course rewarded myself with a glass of wine at the end of the event.

Oktoberfest in Baltimore

Good times at Oktoberfest in Baltimore!

Alright, so Matt and I aren’t the most romantical people ever. Well, okay I suppose we can be romantical sometimes, but maybe we choose not to be on the traditional romantical days. IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE and expecting things to be romantical on certain days just leads to awkward disappointment in my opinion. Actually, I did eat some of our one year old wedding cake topper on our anniversary as you traditionally should (by myself, of course, because Matt hates cake). It was kind of gross, but good enough to have a second piece. I mean freezer burnt cake is still cake and it most definitely still has icing.

Freeze brunt wedding cake

I seriously regret not getting the chocolate cake with peanut butter icing for our wedding cake topper.

The Monday after our anniversary, I received an email from the Four Seasons in Baltimore. (The Four Seasons is where we had our wedding reception. I really cannot begin to explain how eloping or going to the courthouse for our wedding turned into a huge Four Seasons event complete with a Catholic wedding ceremony. Well okay, Matt and I are both the oldest children and we love our families a lot. Ohh, and thank you families for making our wedding weekend so awesome and memorable!) The Four Seasons Baltimore will not be letting us get away without having a romantical first anniversary celebration. They emailed to tell us that they are offering us a free night stay with breakfast in bed. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Who cares if the Four Seasons Baltimore is literally five minutes away from our house?! The Four Seasons Baltimore has a way of making you feel like you are worlds away from reality. I’ve never felt so spoiled than the day of our wedding reception there. Everyone at the Four Seasons went way out of their way to make us feel special. The overnight stay has yet to be scheduled, but I cannot wait!

Also, this blog has been lacking pictures lately. Here are some more pictures related to this post. Did you really think I was going to post about our first anniversary without posting some wedding pictures? Okay, probably not.

Girly drink in Aruba

I am so sick and sleep deprived in this picture. Matt was so excited to be on our honeymoon and all I wanted to do was curl up into bed when we got to Aruba. Instead, I sucked it up and drank this tasty drink. Ohh also, my matron of honor told me about the wonders of Afrin the weekend of my wedding. It saved me. I could actually breathe out of my nose after I took that stuff.

First look picture

This is my favorite picture of us on our wedding day. This is during the “first look” before our ceremony. I’m so glad we chose to see each other before the ceremony. I was able to relax after this and I didn’t cry during the ceremony because I got it all out before.

wedding decor

Do you know that one of the biggest arguments throughout the whole wedding planning process was about the chairs? My dad really wanted the “comfortable” conference looking chairs that the Four Seasons provided, my mom wanted prettier chairs, and I didn’t care about the chairs. I’m really glad my mom got her way because it made the room where our reception was held look amazing.

head table at our wedding

This was our head table. We wanted it to be huge so that we could pretend we weren’t the center of attention.

me and matt

Okay, last wedding picture.

how to create a mirror/test wordpress site through godaddy using a subdomain

Alright, this is going to be a seriously long post. The directions in this post are specific to WordPress and GoDaddy. If you use another web hosting service, these instructions still might help you. Just make sure your web hosting service supports WordPress and is equipped with phpMyAdmin. These instructions might also help someone who is moving their WordPress site to another domain name. Also, please read this whole post before you start following any of these directions and realize that you might run into completely different problems than I did. Creating a site that exactly mirrors your live blog is NOT an easy task so you should know what you are getting into before you start.

WARNING: I broke my live blog several times trying to figure out this process so that very well could happen to you!

Luckily, I was able to fix my live blog after a few temper tantrums, migraines, and bottles of wine. There are two things you should understand about WordPress if you want to create a mirror/test WordPress site:

  1. All of your blog posts, pages, widgets, comments, and links to your theme and images are stored in a database. Originally I thought all of that stuff was in the “wp-content”  folder. Turns out your theme and all of your the images are there, but the links to all the content of your blog are in the database. So even if you copy the “wp-content” folder to your mirror/test site, WordPress won’t know how to get to them.
  2. Further complicating things, WordPress uses absolute links and not global links.
    An absolute link looks something like this:

    A global link looks something like this:


    This means that all of your links in your blog’s database include your domain name or URL. Your mirror/test site will be located on a subdomain, which makes the URL different. This causes all of your links in your database for your live blog to be wrong if you try to copy your database and relocate it to your new mirror/test site. Luckily, a WordPress plugin exists to find and replace all of your URLs.

[Read more…]

new blog design finally!

It’s been over two months since I first announced that I would take a step back from posting and concentrate on redesigning my blog instead. I’m happy to now announce that I’ve finally cut myself off from my redesign and that I’ve transferred my new design over to my live blog.

I do hope to return to posting regularly, but probably not five times a week again for Matt’s sake. I will see how things go. I learned so much from the whole redesign process so I do plan on doing a few posts on how I made my new design happen.

If anyone has any questions on how I created my new design, please ask! I don’t really know what is considered common sense in the blogging world. Unless you specifically ask me about how to do something, I might not think to cover it in a post.

Thanks to everyone that continued to read this space during my blogging break! Because of you, my stat checking habit has not died. Feel free to look around and tell me if something isn’t working correctly.

stealing bags of chips, grills, and turkey fryers


This is our not stolen grill.

I’m not apologizing for being “a bad blogger” because I don’t believe in being bad at hobbies; however, I did apologize to the man I wrongfully accused of stealing our grill.

Oops. Yes, that happened.

I basically tried to physically fight my neighbor for dragging his own grill on the sidewalk beside our house. At least he said it was his grill. I’m not totally convinced though. I mean why was he dragging his grill in the middle of the day down the sidewalk? What was he doing with it? I didn’t see any truck in sight, but I was sort of in a panicky nonobservant kind of state. So maybe there was a truck a few blocks away that he was going to use to transport his grill somewhere else.

Still it seems silly that he was dragging it like that, making all kinds of noise, and interrupting me cleaning my bathroom. From the bathroom window, it sure looked like our grill. So obviously, I didn’t check to see if our grill was still in its place on the porch. I couldn’t let that man get away!

I ran outside in my socks and screamed at him to “Get the f*ck off my grill!”

He said (very calmly), “This is my grill. I’m a good neighbor.”

I composed myself (a little). Well just enough to take a look at the front of the grill. Crap, he was not dragging our grill.

To be fair, stuff gets stolen in Baltimore and I’m sure every other city in the world ALL the time. Here is a list of things that has been stolen from me and Matt:

  • Bag of potato chips (from in Matt’s truck complete with a smashed side window)
  • Stack of quarters (from in Matt’s truck and this is not the same time the bag of chips were stolen)
  • Propane tank
  • My bike
  • Matt’s bike ramp
  • Turkey fryer that was 500 million degrees at the time it was stolen
  • Plastic owl that Matt uses to scare away the birds (this actually was returned to us later with the head missing. WTF.)

I always keep my car super clean inside so that there is nothing visible to steal. One time some a-hole forgot that you are not supposed to rob clean cars. That a-hole opened up all of my compartments and took everything out. Then the a-hole just left it like that for me to clean up.

Ohh, then there was another time someone tried to mug Matt and I, but the mugger was unsuccessful. I don’t really know why because the mugger had a gun. That gun must have been fake otherwise Matt and I would probably be dead now. It’s probably not the best idea to push a guy with a gun and ask him “What are you doing?” Seriously muggers, don’t mumble “empty it out” quietly when you are mugging someone. That isn’t easy to understand.  I mean what “it” was the mugger talking about?

Fortunately, Matt grabbed the gun from his head. Except Matt was wearing really thick gloves so his hands slipped away from the gun, which leads me to believe that gun was not loaded or fake, since the mugger let us go. I’m pretty confident that the mugger was already nervous before he started mugging us and we didn’t help his situation at all by not cooperating with his mugging. Also, our mugger was not very smart because I confused him by hiding my purse behind my back. I’m positive that our reaction is not the correct way to handle any kind of mugging situation.

Anyway so don’t blame me for accusing my neighbor for stealing our grill. Blame the chip bag stealer, the 500 million degree turkey fryer thief, the a-holes that break into cars, and the stupid mugger.

Psst … I have a giveaway in the works! Be sure to check back in the next few weeks to enter!

the rules of matt johnson

A few weekends ago, Matt’s dad came to visit us at our house.  Matt’s dad saw the box to the Margaritaville Drink Maker that he gave us a few weeks ago and noticed that it was unopened. He asked me why we hadn’t tried it out.

I told him, “Matt wouldn’t let me open it because we’re bringing it to the beach. Matt has a lot of rules.”

This got me thinking about how many rules Matt tries to make me follow. There is no way I had this many rules growing up. I mentioned to Matt that I was going to write a post about all of his rules and he didn’t think I possibly remembered any of them since I never follow them.

Ugh, I can remember them if I think really hard, but there is no way that I can remember ALL of them EVERY second of the day.Loofas DO NOT belong on the shower handle. Put a trash bag in the trash can like you have a brain.

P.S. I really do love my husband, but here are the rules of Matt Johnson (my husband) for your entertainment:

  1. NEVER ever hang your loofah on the shower handle. If you do, Matt has the right to throw your loofah on the shower floor.
  2. DO NOT leave the dishwasher door open. It does not matter if you think you might need to have it open again in two minutes. Every time you put something in the dishwasher, you must close the door immediately. (Read more about how the dishwasher gets in the way of our marriage here.)
  3. Properly close all chip, pretzel, cracker, and cereal bags by folding the outside top corners in once and then rolling the bag down so that there is no air in the bag. Then place a clip on the top of the bag.
  4. ALWAYS take your shoes off before you go upstairs.
    *Note: I never listen to this rule. I keep most of my shoes upstairs.
  5. Wipe your feet when you walk in the door enough so that Matt can tell that you are doing it. Don’t be shy about it. Shuffle your feet back and forth multiple times.
  6. After using the computer, you must close all programs and browser windows then go to the Start menu and select “Switch User.”
    *Note: Sometimes I regret consolidating to one desktop computer because of this rule. Seriously though, we do not have room for two computer desks downstairs. A dining table is much better than a computer desk in my opinion.
  7. None of Megan’s (that’s me) stuff is allowed on the printer.
    *Note: This is a new rule. Apparently, the printer wasn’t working because a wine charm, a Leatherman multi-tool, and a hair rubber band were jammed inside the printer. I’m not entirely sure if all those things inside the printer were really my fault.
  8. DO NOT pick up Matt’s clothes from the floor. They are there for a reason!
  9. DO NOT close drawers too fast. (This causes all the contents to shift to the back of the drawer.)
  10. Make and sleep in the bed non-rudely. (Read all about this here.)

I feel bad for our future children if we ever have any. Also, I’m quite certain I forgot a few (probably 20) rules. There seem to be new rules every week.

As many of you already know, Matt edits 98% of this blog. I did forget a few. Matt was kind enough to list them for me.

  1. Push your chair in when you get up.
  2. Squeeze the toothpaste roll from the back.
  3. DO NOT slam the washer and dryer doors. (I’m pretty sure Matt has never told me this before, but he claims he has. I don’t even think I slam the washer and dryer doors. I really love our washer and dryer.)
  4. DO NOT slam cabinet doors
  5. Turn the lights off when you leave a room.
  6. Turn outside lights on for your husband when he comes home after dark.
  7. Put a new trash bag in the garbage can like you have a brain.
  8. Matt says all these rules are NOT rules and are actually common courtesy. I apparently lack common courtesy, which really sucks for Matt. 

matt almost made me pass out, but it was my fault

So let’s ignore the fact that I didn’t post again for a full week, okay?

Let’s just enjoy a normal post, finally.

Actually this post is pretty gross so you might not want to read it. If you are going to keep reading, don’t be mad about how I didn’t warn you because I am totally warning you right now.

SnapChat of me drawn like a humpback

I sent this picture to a few of my friends on Snap Chat the next day. The hump on my back is really the cyst except I didn’t tell them that because cysts are gross. I figure my friends can read about my more than skin deep things on the Internet instead.

So last week, my brother came home from Abu Dhabi and we went out for dinner with the rest of our family. We ate at the BYOB sushi place in our neighborhood so I had a few glasses of wine. (The fact that I had a few glasses of wine might not seem relevant right now, but it is later. Really, I’m just delaying the gross part of this story.)

Earlier that morning, I was pretty upset to find out that I couldn’t make an appointment with the doctor I wanted to see until October. I needed to see a doctor like RIGHT AWAY. To be more specific, I needed to see a plastic surgeon doctor because I needed something removed.

Okay, here’s where this story starts to get gross so you can stop reading now. (You’re still allowed back to my blog if you stop reading this post. I promise.)

I need to have a cyst removed from my back. I’ve had it at least since college. I have no idea what happened in the past two weeks, but all the sudden it tripled in size. You can see it through my shirt. It’s super gross. And it hurts. Which is why I need it gone RIGHT NOW. Matt says it’s a little bigger than a quarter, but I think it’s WAY bigger than that.

After dinner and after those few glasses of wine, it became apparent that I couldn’t handle my problem until October.

I yelled at my poor husband to pop this giant, disgusting cyst on my back. Matt said, “Are you sure you want me to do that?” Then he showed me a bunch of YouTube videos of other people draining cysts themselves. I’m not going to link to those videos here because you CANNOT unsee videos like that.

After watching those videos, I decided ew, no way can I go through that or have Matt see me that way. Two minutes later the annoying pain from the cyst made me yell at Matt again to get rid of it.

I have this tool:

zit popping tool

Anyone know what it’s called? I remember I got it from Sephora. I’m just going to call it a zit popping tool. Anyway so I forced this zit popping tool in Matt’s hand and told him to stab it into my back.

Matt kept telling me that he really should use an X-acto knife and that I should probably lie down. I could handle no such directions and insisted that he shove the zit popping tool in my back while standing. I don’t know. It seemed like it would hurt less that way.

So he does it (as any good husband would) and then that’s when things started to go black.

Uhhh, so I’m a huge wuss and I couldn’t handle that stupid zit popping tool since it almost made me pass out. Luckily, Matt made me kneel down until I could see again and all the stars went away.

Fortunately, this little incident made me call back the doctor’s office to move up my appointment with a different doctor. So hopefully all of this will be taken care of sooner than October.

Aren’t you glad I decided to post this week??


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